you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
