Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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