Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think I won the penis lottery.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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