its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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