nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
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Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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