Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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