He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
