You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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