You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They took my balls.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
