And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize