I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
