I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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