Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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