Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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