Buhtt sex?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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