I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
