Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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