Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
