My room smells like vodka and shame
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
