we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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