goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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