when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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