I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
