Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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