Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
