He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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