Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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