We're facebook friends in real life
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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