where am i from again
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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