i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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