i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
