I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
