she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
