dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
