I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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