I just pynch a tree in the face
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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