He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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