I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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