did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
