I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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