I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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