kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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