It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
