So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
