I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
