i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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