clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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