too bad you live with your parents still
honey bunches of taint.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize