How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Terrible idea I love it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
