So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
