You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
