ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
