My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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