i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
