I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
