Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
