Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
