I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Randomize