i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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