ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize