in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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