my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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