just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize