She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
