I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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